In 1993, a new group was formed in the San Francisco Bay
Area called MAPLBN (Mandarin Asian Pacific Lesbian/Bisexual Network).
Members of this group share a common
background as immigrants or children of immigrants, originating
from places such as Taiwan, China, or Hong Kong. We have
been able to come together and support each other on issues of
sexual orientation, language, and culture.
Many of our discussions have revolved around helping our
families accept and understand their lesbian/bisexual daughters.
Thus the Family Project was born. We asked our family
members to write about their experiences, in order to share them with
others. It is our hope that these stories might ease their isolation
and pain, as well as provides some support and validation for
our parents and families.
Many parents responded eagerly to our request, writing in
either Chinese or English. Some letters were funny; some were
quite emotional and moving. Although each "coming out" story
was different, the love for their daughters shone through in every
letter. A translation and editing team of MAPLBN members was
then assembled and sent to work. Each letter had to have both
Chinese and English version, so that the stories could be read
and understood by everyone. It is our sincerest wish that reading
these experiences might help you feel some connection with
other families that have also been through this process. Perhaps
these stories will even inspire you to write your own letter, and
bring you closer to your family.
Quotes from Beloved Daughter
LETTERS FROM MOTHERS
LETTERS FROM FATHERS
- She Is Still My Daughter
"Do I want my daughter to feel proud of herself, or would I rather have her hide behind a mask?"
"I wonder that she will be unable to live a normal life and that she always will be viewed as an oddity in our society."
- I Am With You, My Daughter
"I think what is best for her is for her to be herself and for those who love her to accept who she is."
- Mother's Love
"She is my flesh and blood and God in His graciousness and grace had given her to me, a very special person."
LETTERS FROM SIBLINGS
- Loving Each Other Honestly
"Remember that their happiness is also yours."
- A Father' Point of View
"We will not allow your being gay affect our family ties."
"We were baffled. We had no idea what lay ahead"
- My Transformation
"Because lesbians and gays are also as much a part of nature as others, they should enjoy the same rights."
- Sharing Thoughts and Heart
"I deeply appreciated and was very happy for her trust in telling me her private secret."
- Words from Our Hearts
"We still are not able to be candid, to have the courage to say to other people that my daughter is a lesbian."
- My Daughter Ung
"But silence is not always golden. I wish that we had been more open with each other and had together learned about this life issue."
- My Eldest Sisfer's Revelation
"My immediate guess was perhaps she had borne a child out of wedlock and had kept all of us in the dark."
- A Short Conversation
"Youthful sister, daughter, friend, lover, boss, not just a dyke-her roles are many."
- U.S. Chinese Tongzhi Conference Afterthoughts
"Every gay person is someone's daughter, son sister, or brother."