MAPLBN Family Letter Project

In 1993, a new group was formed in the San Francisco Bay Area called MAPLBN (Mandarin Asian Pacific Lesbian/Bisexual Network). Members of this group share a common background as immigrants or children of immigrants, originating from places such as Taiwan, China, or Hong Kong. We have been able to come together and support each other on issues of sexual orientation, language, and culture.

Many of our discussions have revolved around helping our families accept and understand their lesbian/bisexual daughters. Thus the Family Project was born. We asked our family members to write about their experiences, in order to share them with others. It is our hope that these stories might ease their isolation and pain, as well as provides some support and validation for our parents and families.

Many parents responded eagerly to our request, writing in either Chinese or English. Some letters were funny; some were quite emotional and moving. Although each "coming out" story was different, the love for their daughters shone through in every letter. A translation and editing team of MAPLBN members was then assembled and sent to work. Each letter had to have both Chinese and English version, so that the stories could be read and understood by everyone. It is our sincerest wish that reading these experiences might help you feel some connection with other families that have also been through this process. Perhaps these stories will even inspire you to write your own letter, and bring you closer to your family.

Quotes from Beloved Daughter

  • She Is Still My Daughter
    "Do I want my daughter to feel proud of herself, or would I rather have her hide behind a mask?"
  • Untitled
    "I wonder that she will be unable to live a normal life and that she always will be viewed as an oddity in our society."
  • I Am With You, My Daughter
    "I think what is best for her is for her to be herself and for those who love her to accept who she is."
  • Mother's Love
    "She is my flesh and blood and God in His graciousness and grace had given her to me, a very special person."
  • Loving Each Other Honestly
    "Remember that their happiness is also yours."
  • A Father' Point of View
    "We will not allow your being gay affect our family ties."
  • Remorse
    "We were baffled. We had no idea what lay ahead"
  • My Transformation
    "Because lesbians and gays are also as much a part of nature as others, they should enjoy the same rights."
  • Sharing Thoughts and Heart
    "I deeply appreciated and was very happy for her trust in telling me her private secret."
  • Words from Our Hearts
    "We still are not able to be candid, to have the courage to say to other people that my daughter is a lesbian."
  • My Daughter Ung "But silence is not always golden. I wish that we had been more open with each other and had together learned about this life issue."
  • My Eldest Sisfer's Revelation
    "My immediate guess was perhaps she had borne a child out of wedlock and had kept all of us in the dark."
  • A Short Conversation
    "Youthful sister, daughter, friend, lover, boss, not just a dyke-her roles are many."
  • U.S. Chinese Tongzhi Conference Afterthoughts
    "Every gay person is someone's daughter, son sister, or brother."

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